I, as you may know, am a fan of the screams. The music kind. I’ve spoken multiple times about my love for Sleep Token, and there are several other bands I enjoy just screamin’ in my earballs every now and then. I had the opportunity to go to a concert with two of my favorite concert buddies over the weekend, and I got to hear some of the best screamies I’ve ever experienced live.
I got to see Bad Omens live at Louder Than Life last year, something I won’t be repeating (the festival part), and that was kind of my first exposure to the band. To be completely real and rude, I didn’t like their song “Death of Peace of Mind” when I first heard it on a random Spotify Sunday. And then I heard Noah sing everything live and I understood exactly why he is so beloved. The man has range and I am here for it. Not only that, but the drummer for Bad Omens is insanely talented. II from Sleep Token gets a lot of accolades–well deserved, of course–but buddy boy Nick is also amazing. The whole band looks like they’re having fun, and that is always something I will love.
The show started with President. I’d heard two songs by them before we went to this show and I was less than impressed. Not a problem, really, I don’t need to love everything. But live? Holy balls, they were somethin’ real nice. I felt the lead singer was trying too much to be cinematic at times with his poses in the lighting, but as one of my friends pointed out, there’s only so much one can do on a stage sometimes. Which is fair. I don’t hold that against their performance because overall, I really liked what I heard. My watch buzzed at me to calm down a few times, because the thumps got me palpitating, haha.
Beartooth is another band I’ve vaguely listened to now and then. I wanted to kind of prepare myself for the show to know some of their songs before we went to see them, but I drifted back to Sleep Token more than I didn’t. This portion of the show became a little uncomfortable for me because of my aversion to crowds. I know, you don’t like crowds, so why go to concerts? Because I like music and I try to do uncomfortable things to show myself I can. Well, at one point during this portion, a very tall man stood in front of me and my friends (he was 7 foot 1 inch, as he claimed) and blocked pretty much everything. He said he was trying to get into a mosh pit, which, fine, okay. I was already hyped up from being in a crowd of a bunch of people.
One moment I was standing with my friends, the next I was shoved really hard away from them. My flight mode kicked in and my whole brain went silent except for “DANGER DANGER DANGER” and I needed to get away. Bless my friends for trying to help me, but I had to leave the spot we were. I pushed my way through the crowd to the side and kind of moved back to the end of the main clump of people. My watch was definitely buzzing.
But! All is not lost, because I was able to see and hear much better from that vantage point.
As I said, I’ve not experienced much of Beartooth’s music, but I am definitely going to add them to some playlists. If I may be cheesy for a moment, I think one of my favorite parts of live shows is getting to hear the roar of a crowd. Except it’s not really a roar. It’s more like TV static from when TVs would go off-station. Just a quick, loud burst of a buzz before it quiets. It’s one of those feelings I can’t quite describe accurately, I think, because it’s like when I’m in the woods. I feel so big and so small at the same time. I’m part of a bigger thing, in a room full of people I’ll never see again (excepting my friends, of course), and we’re all there.
There was a part of me that felt a little like I’m a loser because I couldn’t handle being in a crush of people. That I’d “abandoned” my friends to go be by myself because my brain doesn’t work right. But I didn’t leave the concert entirely. I moved to where I wouldn’t feel trapped, and I was able to still be part of it. The music still made my watch tell me my heart was too fast. I still ignored that. I’m pretty sure I looked pissed off because I just have one of those faces. My eyes closed against the flashing lights several times, but that added a new layer to the music for me. Sound has always been more important to me than visual, anyway. Between Beartooth and Bad Omens, I went with one of my friends to stand in a merch line. Which is an entirely new experience for me as well. I got shirts that are too big for me, but I have things to remind me I did something uncomfortable, didn’t die, and I enjoyed the music.
Bad Omens is ridiculously good live. When I heard them at Louder Than Life last year, I was blown away by the talent and class of their performance, and it was just as good, if not better at our Detroit concert. Noah said at one point how he was nervous, and he always gets nervous, but for some reason that night he was extra nervous. To which the crowd cheered support. And then he got right back to singing like he wasn’t actually nervous.
Because I am the person I am, that moment made me a little sad. I had the (entirely) original thought that it must get lonely sometimes for big-name musicians or creative people who perform. Like all celebrity worship tends to be about the way the person presents themselves. We are fascinated by who they are, and we learn all their “stats” like we’re going to be their best friends, forgetting sometimes that they exist off stage and they aren’t famous to the people who know them best. They’re just friends. They’re family, they’re people.
Like I said, not an original thought, but it must be so surreal to have tens of thousands of people full of adoration for you, and they don’t really get to know who you are. Not like your parents know you. Not like your best friend does. The ones who sit on the couch with you and play video games, or you bring presents to their kid’s birthday parties. You’re just you, and you don’t need to be the stage persona.
All of that to say, I am really grateful I pushed myself out of my comfortable place to be part of the audience at this concert. It was fun. It was a break from the reality of the world falling to pieces around us. I stood in the cold for about an hour and some change. I passed bracelets I’d made to strangers. Had small conversations with the nice guy behind me and my friends in line waiting to get in. We were cute, we were frozen, but we were happy.
Until next time, friends.
salisbury.fake 