Salisbury.Fake Life, Weekly Update

Confetti

Don’t mind me, I’m still in Rocket Arena, watching confetti fall from the ceiling while Vessel sings my favorite song off the newest Sleep Token album.

I’m not one for letting myself cry in public. It takes a lot to make me cry in front of others, like truly cry, not the few tears thing. I can do that. I can show I’m a human through that, but when it comes to the kind of crying that makes people ask if you’re okay, I stopper that up so fuckin’ fast.

I wish I had the words to explain how utterly overwhelmed I was when I got to hear Infinite Baths live. I sobbed. In full view of people I love dearly. One of them put her arm around me to comfort me, for which I’m grateful.

I can’t stop thinking about the way it felt to turn my head to the ceiling and watch the pink paper confetti fluttering down onto us as Vessel asked us to drift with him.

Surreal.

Ethereal.

Unearthly.

The way it lives in my whole body, the way it switches me to life to remember I got to experience my favorite band in an arena.

I’m not a risk taker. I’ll talk myself out of just about anything. And the idea of crowds in any number greater than five is abhorrent to me. So, getting tickets to not only a Sleep Token concert, but also the Louder Than Life festival the weekend before, it made me do a quick, “hey, who even are you?”

Turns out, I can be brave for Vessel. I can put aside my biggest anxieties just for the chance to exist in the same room as him, hearing him sing his music.

That’s such a powerful thing to give someone, you know? The confidence to be unafraid of what scares them. I didn’t need to see him (I did a few times, don’t worry, it wasn’t me just Gollum crouching saying “my precious” the whole time).

I got to hear him.

What a beautiful, beautiful thing to be part of, to keep in my heart for the rest of my life.

Salisbury.Fake Uncategorized

Dear Vessel

My favorite band for most of my life has been Hanson. Yes, the Mmmbop boys. They’ve never stopped making music and they constantly tour. They have a massive fanbase, made mostly of millennials, but they are beloved in their own right. I’ve been to a few of their concerts, and loved them. They know their fans and they know their crowd.

Last year, May 2024, I first heard Chokehold by Sleep Token and I kind of “oh, well, that’s different.” and I didn’t give it a second listen. Then I heard The Summoning on an instagram ad for a spicy book I didn’t read, and I looked it up properly on Spotify. There were several people who commented on videos saying, “I just don’t get Sleep Token. They’re not even that good. They’re not metal.” (Which is funny because the band has never said they were, and there’s just been this grumbling about them for whatever reason.) People were actively hating on the music because they didn’t “get it.”

I’ve listened to Sleep Token almost exclusively since that day.

When the new album was announced earlier this year, I kind of felt like a poser because I wasn’t really into the lore of who Sleep is or whatever, so when people were discussing the theories behind the released songs and what they meant, I just kind of “but they sound right.”

I think that’s where I’ve been so fascinated. The music is correct. It fits into the spaces of my brain that need filling, and I don’t need to change the metaphorical station to remain content.

I do have a superpower of being able to listen to a song on repeat for days on end, but I wasn’t doing it often. Usually just for writing sessions if I needed to keep a certain emotional mindset. When Even In Arcadia was released, I listened to it on repeat for months. Over and over and over until I felt like the very drumbeats were stamped on my bones. It’s a perfect album, in my opinion.

I wish I could tell Vessel thank you. I wish I could tell him that the way he hears the world is such a beautiful, heart-wrenching thing. He uses phrases like “buckling sutures” and words like “loamy” in his lyrics.

I got to see them in concert last night in Cleveland. I’m glad my friends took videos and photos because I just listened. I sank into the happiness that I rarely allow myself to feel and I heard Vessel sing. He’s incredible live. The whole band is. I got to hear my favorite songs (Vore, Infinite Baths) and I got to spend the night with some of my favorite people experiencing the wonder Vessel is.

Sleep Token fans get a lot of shit, and some of us deserve it because there are more than a few who don’t know how to behave around others. Some don’t know how to respect privacy. Some who don’t know how to just listen.

But there are those who are eager to fall into the sound, Vessel. I promise we hear it and we see it and we love it. We love you for who you are. The man behind the mask can stay unknown because the words you give us through Vessel are enough. You are enough.

One of the friends I was with last night took a video of me during the performance of Vore, my favorite song of the entire discography, and I wish I could show Vessel. I don’t consider myself beautiful, but the pure joy on my face gave me a moment of seeing it. That’s what Sleep Token does for me. It allows me to see myself the way others see me.

So, thank you, Vessel.