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Game Review – The Callisto Protocol

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I keep thinking about this game and how it made me feel, so I’m going to drop a review of it even though I’m not a gamer who plays. SPOILERS AHEAD so if you don’t want to read about the ending of this game, please feel free to skip this post.

Anyone who knows me knows my favorite games, tied for first (I’m being honest with myself) are Dead Space and BioShock. When Dead Space first came out, I was blown away by the design, the gameplay, the story, all of it just settled into my brain and was kind of the beginning of my love of science fiction. I’ve always liked science fiction, but Dead Space opened my brain up to the unsettling aspects of the unknown dangers in space. I know there are films and stories older than Dead Space, but I hadn’t taken part in those yet. Aside from Halo, I hadn’t really encountered that uneasy feeling of something ahead I couldn’t see, but knew it would be a problem. When the popcorn balls of Flood came swarming out of a hold in the first Halo game, that moment kind of kicked the part of my brain that likes the spooky space stuff into gear.

I begin with Dead Space because throughout the gameplay I watched of Callisto Protocol, I kept comparing it to Dead Space. They are incredibly similar in design and story. There are certainly different visuals and gameplay itself is different, but I think both games have elements that make them their own. I’ll start with the similarities:

  • Location has encountered unknown virus or disease taking over
  • Main character is the ‘go-fer’
  • Main character has a job unrelated to the primary functions people keep asking him to “fix” or “take care of”
  • Limbs seem to be the thing to remove in order to kill beasties faster
  • Cool guns/weapons
  • Figure of authority who is the cause of problems/doesn’t do anything to stop problems from spreading
  • Ambiguous ending (for main campaign play. Dead Space had two more games after, and Callisto Protocol had DLC that we’ll get into later)

The things Callisto did well:

  • World design
    • large prison moon that expanded across the entirety of the location. The depth of the prison is revealed to have an older, failed settlement underneath the initial location. There are several sequences of falling that help showcase the absolute behemoth of a world Callisto is.
  • Weapons
    • I thought it was ridiculously cool that you could 3D print your guns/upgrades. There was the standard “credits for upgrades” stuff throughout, but I enjoyed the animation for the printing of the upgrades every time it happened. The boom stick made such a satisfying sound when it hit enemies. That kind of small detail was one of my favorite parts of the whole game.
  • Visuals in general
    • The colors, lighting, textures, etc all played a part in making it an immersive environment. The design of the enemies (I called them gooey dudes and freezy boys depending on location) is gross enough to be what I’d consider a standard of the genre, but interesting enough to be distinguishable from other games. A caveat is the gooey dudes were a little similar to the clickers from Last of Us, but that’s a digression. When fighting on the surface of the moon, everything kind of had this grayscale effect to it that was really, really cool, and enemies kind of blended in if they weren’t frozen in place.
  • Sound design
    • Not only was the music a legit part of the environment, but the creaks and rumbles and splashes were all insanely fun. I started my watch-through not wearing headphones but quickly put them on because I couldn’t hear what Jacob (main character) was saying. The sound is binaural and wowzers. The anxiety is heightened when you can hear something ahead but you can’t see it. The voices of the security bots is also intensified when it sounds like they’re right next to you as you’re being stealthy.
  • Enemies
    • Speaking of the security bots, haha. As the location is a prison on a moon, the elements of security would necessitate bots of some kind. These bots are not the standard floating boxes. These bots are completely badass.
(image from fan art on a Reddit post: click to visit)

What enhances the security bots later is a misguided scientist’s attempt to combine biology with tech and all she gets is this monstrous metal gloopy being bent on killing everything. The reveal of these enemies is pretty cool because there’s the shiny metal, but also the muscle mass and sinew of mammalian biology.

What Callisto Protocol failed for me:

  • Main character is a bit boring
    • Jacob is a pilot, a courier. He crash lands on Callisto while delivering and is kept as a prisoner because he “knows too much.” I think this game fell into the trap of “meet here and we’ll decide what to do next” only to keep using that mechanic to propel the game forward. As Jacob, we do a lot of running to places to fix things I’m not sure a pilot would necessarily have the skill required to fix. There are some moments where the characters acknowledge this lack of skill, but he still manages to fix the things just fine. Josh Duhamel as the VA for Jacob was a solid choice, though.
  • Gameplay is repetitive
    • Not only do you have to keep meeting people only to have to meet them later on a different level for a different task, there’s a lot of repetition in those tasks. Changing a fuse to open a door is a pretty standard sci-fi horror task, but it seemed like there were very few doors we didn’t need to change a fuse for, or he had to cut the wires for something to open. The stealth kill animation is also very similar to Joel’s in Last of Us. I know there are going to be similarities, but even to the way the main character lays the victim down feels a little recycled.
  • Story doesn’t have much cohesion
    • This is strictly for main campaign gameplay. Once Jacob saves the life of a resistance member (Dani) from the virus, he sends her off in an escape pod. They’ve shared their memories so she has his knowledge of the situation, and he has hers of why she’s a resistance member. He then runs off toward the exploding prison like the hero he is. There is no explanation that makes sense to why Jacob “knows too much.” It’s revealed he has some kind of dementia, or amnesia, but there’s no explanation for that either. Supposedly this missing information is passed to Dani, but the player never gets that conclusion. For all we know based on the story presented, Jacob is just the victim of corrupt prison wardens and human security and he doesn’t actually know anything.
  • DLC felt like an insult
    • The main campaign takes about seven hours to complete. The DLC adds almost another three. Essentially 9 hours of total gameplay. It’s full of the whole “we need to do this before we can do that! Meet me here and I’ll open the door for you!” tactic, and that grows incredibly tiresome after a few hours. The continuation of that for the DLC is a disappointment because we don’t get to have proper exploration of the world or story.
    • SPOILER: (the DLC) it was all just in his head. The reveal at the end of the DLC that this was all a “could have been/might have been” as he’s dying in the scientist’s lab is such a slap to the face. When Jacob watches Dani fly off in the escape pod, he’s blown up. The prison doctor/scientist finds him and hooks him up to her machines. All of the running around he does in the DLC is just a dream he conjures while being kept alive so his memories can transfer. In the scheme of storytelling, this is such a cheap way to end a story you didn’t even bother to fill out in the first place. There’s no explanation for pretty much anything, and we’re left to wonder why we played the game so long if it wasn’t going to give us any conclusion.
      • ANOTHER SPOILER: At the very end, Josh Duhamel’s voice comes out of Jacob and he’s shouting that “hey, it’s me, Josh! I’m not dead! Hey!” This would have been fun to me if I hadn’t just witnessed it all being a dream. It felt like the producers laughing as they turned the lights off and left me in the dark as I asked why.

All of the negatives I’ve listed do not detract from the fact I loved this game up till the end. The ending left me bitter and annoyed, but everything else was fantastic. There are similarities to Dead Space, yes, but I think overall Callisto is its own game and I think if we can forgive a shit ending, we can appreciate the game that got us to that shit ending. The visuals, especially the lighting with the sort of neon colors against the darkness of a failing environment, were so cool. Sound design was also amazing to me.

I think I originally gave this game a 6/10 because of the ending, but I feel like that’s harsh considering how much fun I had until that point. I will give this an 8/10.

Salisbury.Fake book review

Everyone Brave is Forgiven by Chris Cleave

Everyone Brave is Forgiven grabbed me by the title and I pulled it from the shelf without much other thought. From the cover, it looked like it was going to be about London during WWII, and I was correct, but I still put it on my to-read shelf and forgot about it. I don’t know if I’ve ever said so on here, but WWII is one of my favorite times to read about, fiction or not, and so I tend to gravitate toward those stories. So many of them are similar, and yet all of them are different. I find sometimes they can be a bit predictable, and while at times this book was to me, I still enjoyed what I read.

What I liked about this book the most was the main female character, Mary. She comes from an upper middle class family (fairly more well-to-do than a lot of people), and when mobilization begins, she decides to join up in the form of becoming a spy. Well, they don’t need her to be a spy, but they do send her to a school to be a teacher. She has no experience in this field, but she takes to it easily, loving the children instantly. She becomes a teacher right before the evacuations took place and children were sent to the countryside of England.

Mary befriends a black boy, Zachary, and she promises to write to him while he’s away. Racism is a theme in this book, and while Mary sees nothing wrong with being friends with Zachary (he’s a small child), her family and friends tell her she’s being impertinent and socially incorrect. There’s quite a bit of language used that made me uncomfortable, and I know it’s “how they talked at the time,” but it still gave me some pause as I read it.

Zachary is abused by the people in the country, and eventually he’s brought back to London where he goes back to school with Mary as his teacher. Mary has a unique talent for getting what she wants, and when her class is evacuated, the first thing she does is go to the man in charge of her district and asks for another class. He tells her there isn’t anyone to teach, but she points out those who were left behind for “difficult circumstances.” Sometimes Mary’s privilege shows when she can’t understand why certain things are done the way they are, but by the end of the story, she’s learned. Mary is vibrant, sarcastic, and determined. Her enthusiasm for doing what she believes to be right is never quite squashed by the bombs dropped on her city.

There is heartbreak and absolute tragedy throughout the story. Depictions of violence and some graphic details of war wounds and building devastation. It all adds up to a well told story that by the end of we are possibly just as tired as the characters. The few moments where I was dragged out of the story because of my stretch for belief were few, and hardly significant past the moments they were.

I give this book an 8/10.

*******I read the 2016 Simon and Schuster hardback edition*******

Salisbury.Fake book review

Light by M. John Harrison

All right, first book review of the year! In all fairness, I finished this a while ago, I just haven’t taken the time to photograph it. This book is one I read on the recommendation of a former friend, and I have to say I’m not overly thrilled by it. I was excited to read it because Neil Gaiman’s got a positive review on the front cover. I have to say the ending was my favorite part. Not because it meant the book was over, but it was some of the best writing I’ve ever read. Spoilers ahead, but this book’s been out since 2002.

To be honest, I don’t know if I fully understood this book until the end. Maybe that’s how it was supposed to go, but it was very aware of itself for most of it, and I found that off-putting. It followed the trend I see in a lot of science fiction where sex is a major aspect of the book, and that is also something I find puts me off a book. I’m in no way a woman who disapproves of sex in books. I’ve written a few spicy scenes myself. But in my opinion, sex in sci-fi usually distracts from the story more than it helps. Space and science are already such vast subjects to try and condense into a workable fiction that adding in copious amounts of often violent, unnecessary scenes of lust tend to take away from the richness of the world presented.

One could argue that this kind of environment is suited for the desolate character of Ed Chianese, He’s a drifter, addicted to alternate reality tanks where he can avoid his own life. He doesn’t even have a life. He goes from place to place, witnessing murders and participating in some. He eventually joins a circus type crew and becomes a sort of fortune teller, or someone who sees the future. While his time is spent finding places to exist and having sex with people he shouldn’t, his story for me was far more compelling than that of the “main character,” Michael Kearney. Kearney is a serial killer who found a way to travel through time/space in order to do his killing. While this sounds like it should be interesting, I found myself incredibly bored with his sections of the story. He jumped from place to place, meeting up with his scientist friend, Sprake, or reuniting with his estranged wife for some uncomfortable sex in an even more uncomfortable setting. He’s forever chased by a creature called the Shrander that always seems to find him no matter where he runs. The story wraps around Kearney and Chianese, but there is one more character, Seria Mau, who comes into play. She is someone who ran away and got transformed into a ship. That is, her conscious mind did. She is forever linked to her spaceship, and throughout the course of the story, she starts to remember more and more about her life before she became who she is by the end of the story. Through each of these three main characters, the story opens up and constricts around you in such a way you don’t know it’s happening until you get devoured by it.

The way it all connects at the end is probably some of the best writing I’ve ever read, and that honestly saved this book for me. There is something intense when you realize what’s happening, and it propels you onward even though you don’t really want to stop reading because you want to stay in the decadence of the world Harrison created. There’s still no clear answer as to what the universe is about, but the way it’s all tied together makes it easy to forget you don’t get an answer.

I think if someone asked me to recommend a book, I probably would choose other sci-fi before I went with this one. It’s not bad, but it’s not my cup of coffee.

I give this book a 6.5/10.

********I read the 2007 Bantam Mass Market Paperback edition********

Salisbury.Fake dinner, food

Impossible Review

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Okay.  We’re going to get rather close here on the food blog because this food product changed my life.  I know that’s dramatic.  I’m sorry.  But hear me out.

If you are a new vegetarian struggling to stay away from the foods you know you want to avoid, if you’re a lifelong vegetarian/vegan and you want to indulge in some filthy junk food, this stuff is for you.

I used to be a fan of the Beyond Burger company.  Then they changed their recipe and added something to it that made it have a very strange lumpy texture.  I am disappointed because I liked the original formula/recipe/whatever it was.

If you want to know a little bit about me, there is a very specific craving I get every now and then.  I used to have double quarter pounders with cheese, plain, from McDangles and I loved them.  I was never a big meat eater, and since it’s been about 4 1/2 years since I’ve eaten beef on purpose (Taco Bell sometimes trolls me), I don’t exactly think I want to go back to it.

The Impossible Burger has been at Burger King for a while now and I’ve been so excited for it to come to stores.  Now that it has, I’m the happiest camper.

For dinner tonight, I made myself a double quarter pounder with cheese (Daiya American slices), and made my mom a regular quarter pounder.  My mom isn’t vegetarian, and regularly eats beef.  She said this was better than she ever expected it to be.

The cavewoman in me is mighty pleased.  10/10 I highly recommend this.

A caveat: as a treat.  Because this is essentially 12 dollars a pound where I live and that, my friends, is hella gross.  But I did buy four packs of it, three of which went into my freezer for later.

Last thing: I hope you’re all doing well.  The world is very uncertain nowadays, but we can keep working toward peace and understanding within each other.

Salisbury.Fake dinner, food

Meat Free Chickenless Tenders – Review

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ALDI is an internationally known grocery store chain, and recently they’ve come out with a line called “Earth Grown.”  This is a group of products that are vegetarian/vegan friendly meat-like substitutes.  So far, I’ve had their meatballs, the soy protein burgers, the chickenless patties, and now the chickenless tenders.

What I like about these products is they have a clear list of ingredients on the box, but they also have a very big “VEGAN” spot right on the front.  There’s no question what’s vegan friendly or not.

I prepared them using the recommended method, in the oven for 16 minutes, flipping halfway.  In terms of texture, they were very similar to regular frozen nuggets, but they were kind of greasy.  They didn’t taste too much like chicken, and honestly reminded me of fish sticks?  I don’t know.  They weren’t bad!  But I think I prefer the Quorn nuggets in terms of texture.  Morningstar is always a good choice, too.

Price wise?  These are 50 cents to a dollar cheaper than other brands.  And combined with the flavor, I’d say these are a re-purchase item.

I give this an 8/10.

Salisbury.Fake food, Weekly Update

Daiya Pepperoni Pizza Review

I love pizza.  It’s one of my favorite foods.  The first being macaroni and cheese.  Macaroni and cheese is very easy to replicate as a plant based food.  Pizza, however, is a little trickier.  So far, I’ve made my own vegan style pizza (pizza dough recipe here).  While Daiya is the most familiar brand of vegan cheese out there, it does have a distinct flavor, so I can always taste when it’s used.

Obviously, a Daiya pepperoni pizza is going to have the distinct taste of Daiya. (Do you say day-ah? or dye-ah?)  I have tried a few vegan pepperonis, and the attempt by Daiya is the closest to what I remember pepperoni tasting like.  That said, this pizza is better fresh baked from the oven.

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The crust on this is disappointing.  I don’t like a majority of the gluten free options available because they often have little to no flavor.  This is no different, unfortunately.  The cheese never really melts either, it just kind of goops.  Which isn’t bad, just a little off putting.

This pizza does not warm up well if you don’t eat the whole thing.  The crust turns soft and the toppings become kind of mush.  All in all, I am not a fan of this pizza.  But I’m not against trying other kinds of the Daiya brand pizza.  Maybe this one wasn’t the best because I expected familiarity with the pepperoni, and there are some meats you just can’t fake.  Lucky for me, Target stocks this pizza regularly in their frozen section for a lot cheaper than other places.

I give this pizza a 6/10.

A small update on my progress.  I hit the ground running last week and only had one bite of cheese at a party for a friend.  I had a KFC biscuit last night, but it was drier than I remember them tasting, so I didn’t eat any more.  I haven’t had any sugar past what is in fruit, and some of my already purchased stuff.  I don’t actually have that much in the way of processed sugar, which is interesting.  I did take my Christmas candy to work, which hurt my heart a bit.  Chocolate is a comforting food for me.  But I’ve noticed a huge difference in my cravings.  I did have the one bite of cheese, but I didn’t want more.  It was a new feeling when normally I’d go wild and eat a whole block of cheese without hesitation.

My food has been mostly whole food, plant based, as much as I can get it.  I did finish off a package of vegetarian friendly sausage, and a package of Gardein chicken strips, both of which I don’t think I’ll purchase again.  But I’ve eaten a lot of rice, and broccoli and cauliflower.  It’s a challenge to find stuff I like to eat because I’m not a fan of vegetables.

One of the things I’ve been telling myself is to eat what I know I like.  I made a tray of roasted vegetables with broccoli and cauliflower, and I tossed in some brussel sprouts.  Turns out, I really don’t like brussel sprouts.  But I do like peas, carrots, corn, green beans.  It’s not difficult to eat foods I like, so I decided to make it a goal to eat more of the vegetables I do like in order to train myself into eating better.  I don’t like salad, and I don’t like weird textures vegetables can sometimes get when they’re roasted or cooked.

So my advice is to eat what you know you like when it comes to “healthy” food.  If you eat more of it, eventually you’ll come to crave it.