Hello, friends! We are rounding out March with a product review that comes from a suggestion by my brother. He is neither vegetarian or vegan, but he saw these at his Kroger and tried them. I snagged some while I was down there the last time, and I made them this week. I made the Comrade Cluck into a rather decadent barbecue macaroni and cheese with Follow Your Heart Provolone and nutritional yeast and Sweet Baby Ray’s. The Stallion I diced up and fried before I put it on a tortilla pizza with some Daiya mozzarella and a nutritional yeast/herb blend. Both were excellent.
Comrade Cluck, the chicken substitute, has a similar flavor to Tofurky’s deli slices. There are some subtle differences and I think that comes from the other ingredients No Evil uses, like organic shoyu (soy sauce). The color is darker than I expected, and that came from the soy sauce, I think, but all in all, it’s a solid meat substitute. I will say that I burned it on accident because I wasn’t sure how long to cook it for, even though the package thoughtfully provided me with instructions.
This gets a 7/10.
The Stallion has a characteristic flavor of seitan, that vital wheat gluten almost aftertaste. But the Italian flavors come through, too. The use of fennel helps counteract that bite of the wheat gluten. I think it’s better as part of something, however, as I was a little underwhelmed with it by itself. More pizza for me! Or toss it with pasta and peppers.
This gets a 6/10.
With all the new meat substitutes, it’s becoming more and more important to me to make sure I am eating the fresher vegetables and the whole foods. The substitutes are more like a special occasion type item. I always look forward to the new things, and my brother keeps sending me the new items he finds at his store. It makes a difference to know my brother cares about how I eat. He still makes fun of me for it sometimes, but I know he does so out of love, hah.
I hope you’re all staying healthy and safe. This is a weird time to be alive, and quite frankly I’m tired of hearing about this virus stuff, so I’ll leave it there.
When it comes to burgers, I don’t really find the options for vegetarian burgers to be very appetizing. Not that I like the texture of meat, but I need something with a bit more chew than most offer. I’ll be honest, I don’t like to purchase the pre-made grillers out there, even though I have some in the freezer right now. It all goes back to my biggest pet peeve with myself — convenience food.
If it’s an easy thing to pop in the microwave, or rip open a package and there’s my food, I have a love hate relationship with it. My love is the ease in which I can feed myself. Unless I use canned goods like beans, or frozen vegetables, preparing a meal often takes a while, and I’m usually tired when I’m hungry. Snack foods are always a good option, but again those can be highly processed or contain things I can’t pronounce even if they are on a vegan labelled snack.
I set out a while ago to create a mock chicken patty to give me that chew of a burger I miss. After several failed attempts, I finally managed to create something edible. I’d even go so far as to say it’s delicious. I can pronounce all of the things in it. And there’s even a gluten free option! You can have your burger and eat it, too. Or something.
Photo by Chelsea M.K.
I do have a few notes about this recipe, though, and I’d share my actual page where I made them because you can see me devolving into “I’m not sure what this is anymore” on some earlier stages. For the gluten free option, the batter will be firmer and needs to cook longer. I absolutely do not recommend baking the gluten free one. It came out dry and gummy all at once, and that was something I can’t ever say I want in my mouth again. Frying these will give it a lovely golden brown color that makes it all even more appealing. Patience is key in this recipe because even though it takes a while, the payoff is worth it.
I think the seasoning in it makes it great without a sauce and just lettuce and tomato keep it simple, but delicious all the same. I’ve been having it with some Daiya slices as well–the cheddar and American–and it doesn’t distract from the flavor of the food. Without further ramblings, I give you the no chicken patty.
Photo by Chelsea M.K.
No Chicken Patty (with Gluten)
1 cup TVP (textured vegetable protein)
2 cups vegetable broth (I used Better Than Bullion’s No Chicken Base)
2 cups flour
3 tbsp vital wheat gluten (you can leave this out, just add about 1/4 cup more flour)
1 tsp worcestershire sauce (vegetarian friendly)
2 tsp poultry seasoning (no meat in it, just the herbs and spices)
1/2 tsp onion powder
1/2 tsp parsley
1/4 tsp garlic powder
1/4 tsp salt (you can adjust the salt to your taste, but if you use the BTB base, it’s pretty salty already)
4-5 tbsp oil for frying (I used straight up vegetable oil)
Method:
1. In a large mixing bowl, combine the vegetable broth, worcestershire sauce, and TVP. Let sit for about ten minutes for the TVP to hydrate.
2. Add in the flour, wheat gluten (if using), and seasonings. Stir to combine. This will make a sort of wet batter, but that’s okay.
3. Heat the oil in a large skillet and when the pan is ready, scoop 1/2 cup of the batter into the oil. Spread the batter into a single layer, maybe 2 inches in diameter. You can make square patties if you’d like, but the circular ones fit better on a bun.
4. Cook for 3-5 minutes, or until the top starts to dry out. Check to see if the bottom is golden brown, and then flip the patties to continue cooking on the other side.
5. Remove from the pan and allow to drain on a wire rack. Add more oil to the pan if necessary and continue to cook till all the batter is used.
6. Serve immediately, or let cool completely before storing in the fridge for 5-7 days.
7. These will bake moderately well if you’d prefer not to fry. Oven at 375 F for 10 minutes, flip, then five more minutes. They don’t brown as nicely as frying, but they still taste fine.
No Chicken Patty (Gluten Free)
Ingredients are the same as above, minus the flour and vital wheat gluten. Instead, add 2 1/2 cups of rice flour (plain rice flour), and 1/4 cup of oil (your choice, I used grapeseed). The batter will be firmer, and lighter in color.
To cook, simply cook 5-7 minutes on one side, then flip and continue cooking till the other side is golden brown. A little longer on the cooking process, but tastes just as great.
salisbury.fake 