Salisbury.Fake Life, Weekly Update

Sunday Morning Chat

I had goals this week of starting another series of posts discussing literary theory, but it’s too early in the day to go full brain on myself. Then I thought I’d do a post about Henry, someone near and dear to my heart, but the post I outlined ended up feeling too personal to put on here (listen, I know I wrote about my biggest fear, but Henry is a different level of personal). So, now I’m eating my breakfast of cold banana pancakes (I don’t have a toaster or a microwave and I’m not feelin’ the need to wash too many dishes today) and enjoying the sunshine coming through my office window.

It’s cold as balls in my house this morning, and the cold pancakes aren’t helping me, but I’m at peace today. I go back to the office tomorrow for work, and while I’m not looking forward to the health hazard, I’m looking forward to seeing the people I’ve missed. We’re already getting emails of “the new normal” and the phrase is exhausting in the sense I don’t want to face yet another new normal. Life is full enough of them. But that’s pessimistic, so I’ll steer myself back to the positive thoughts of seeing some of my favorite people.

I’m looking forward to springtime. The weather app says it’s supposed to be in the 60s this week, and I’m ready to ride with my window down. Feel the bypass wind in my hair as I drive too fast because I forgot I’m at the office now and left my house late. I’m looking forward to starting a garden this spring, and getting my backyard set up for friend times in the summer. I’m going to get my firepit settled, and I’m going to build a second patio (sort of) reusing some stones from the yard. It’s going to be a good season for me and hopefully for you.

I’m going to walk more with one of my best friends after work in the outlet mall parking lot. I’m going to keep eating better and keep losing weight (I’ve lost twenty pounds since I gave up Taco Bell back in December). I’m going to maintain as positive a vibe as I can because the world is full of people having tragedy after tragedy and if I can be a bit of brightness for someone, I’d love to do that.

If you are struggling to feel something other than useless, I want to remind you that you are quite useful, in fact. You have a wealth of knowledge, and you have a lot to offer the world, and plot twist: it has a lot to offer you. It might seem bleak, but the sun’s coming up earlier now, which means you have plenty of time to work for yourself. Hang in there, if it’s getting a bit tough. The good times are coming. I believe it. If you are feeling less than lovely to yourself, that’s okay. Sometimes the clouds get in the way, but the sun is always waiting for you on the other side.

And on that note, I’m going to make some tea and get to work on some writing before I have lunch with my mom. Until next time, friends, remember: you are and always will be enough.

Salisbury.Fake breakfast, food

Sorghum Goji Berry Pancakes

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Note: These pancakes are a little drier than normal ones, but that’s what toppings are for.  I used butter and syrup, which worked fine, or you could use stewed berries or whatever you like for your pancakes.

Ingredients:

2 cups sorghum flour
1 1/2 cups plant based milk (I used soy)
2 tbsp neutral flavored oil
1/2 cup dried goji berries
2 tbsp sugar
2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt

Method:

In a medium sized mixing bowl, whisk together the flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt.  Add the goji berries, and stir through.  Add in the milk and oil, then stir till everything is just combined.

Heat a tablespoon of butter, vegan or otherwise, in a small frying pan.  Once the butter is melted and the pan is hot, scoop about a 1/3 cup of the batter into the frying pan.  Cook until the bottom is set, and small bubbles form on the top.  Flip and cook for about a minute, two minutes more, and remove to a plate while you cook the rest.

This batter made 7 pancakes, which is indeed an odd number, but you could use a 1/4 cup when cooking and make more.  Or, double the recipe.  Store leftovers in an airtight container in the fridge and eat within three days.

Salisbury.Fake breakfast, food

Blueberry Granola

When I have down days, I automatically seek comfort in food.  This isn’t a bad thing, necessarily, but it’s important to reach for the right kind of food.  Lately, I’ve been eating dairy again, which I don’t judge myself for, because judging myself is something I’m pretty good at without worrying about the food I eat.

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Photo by Chelsea M. K.

The importance of loving myself and self care through food is quickly becoming a topic I struggle with and I end up making some rather unpleasant discoveries about myself.

It makes me ask questions like why do I seek comfort in food?  Especially dairy, because as I’ve gotten older, dairy has increasingly bad after-effects on my system.  Yet, I can spend an entire day eating one pizza, and then the next day feel like a garbage can, but then eat macaroni and cheese.

The truth is, it’s easy comfort.  It’s conveniently comforting.  I find myself reaching for the foods I like without thinking of the consequences because it’s easy to ignore those things when I’m trying to find comfort.

So, what is the solution?  I know what I’m going through is not new.  It’s not a new thing for a lot of people.  So, how do I solve my problem?  The solution is to find comfort in something other than food.  Easier said than done.  As the days become more stressful, and the hours at work ramp up to overtime, convenience food is always going to be a thing.

The solution then needs to be a healthier comfort food, right?  Yeah, but I don’t like hummus that much to be eating it after work on days that I had a struggle.  I want something fast and easy.

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Photo by Chelsea M. K.

I did sign up for Thrive Market and they have a lovely smattering of vegan friendly snack and convenience foods, but that again presents a problem for me, because while it’s dairy free, vegan, whatever, it’s still a snack food. The solution is to make food the last resort for comfort when I’m having a bad day.

I love to read, and I write fiction, too.  My options for creativity are somewhat limited where I live, but that doesn’t mean I give up completely on what I love to do. The key is to believe the level of satisfaction will be the same as a bowl of macaroni and cheese.  Or a slice of pizza.  Reaching into that well of colorful visions of the future, what I could be, using that to distance myself from what bothers me will be the eventual goal to achieve. 

Food can still be a happy thing.  It should absolutely be a way to show I care about someone, or a way to help me feel happy.  But it should not be my only source of happiness.  With that, let me give you a gentle recipe, something small to provide a little bit of joy when you have breakfast, or when you need a quick, easy snack before heading out to live your best life.

Granola is not a glamorous food.  It’s probably not even that comforting.  But what it does offer is texture and crunch on top of smoothies, and it can be nutritious depending on how it’s made.  It’s simple and easy.

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Photo by Chelsea M. K.

Blueberry Granola

Recipe yield: about 4 cups
Preparation time: 15 minutes
Cook time: 30 minutes
Total time: 45 minutes, plus cooling

Ingredients:

3 cups rolled oats
2 cups nuts and seeds of choice
(I used raw, chopped almonds and pumpkin seeds)
3/4 cup dried blueberries
1/2 cup maple syrup or agave (I used a combination of both)
1/4 cup coconut oil, melted
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

Method:

  1. Combine dry ingredients, minus blueberries, in a large bowl till evenly distributed.
  2. In another bowl, whisk together wet ingredients, making sure the oil is combined with the syrups well.
  3. Stir wet into dry until all of the oats are coated.
  4. Line a tray with either parchment, foil, or a silicon baking mat, and bake in a 300 degree oven for fifteen minutes, stir, and then bake for fifteen more minutes.
  5. Remove from the oven and place tray on a wire cooling rack.  This will help air circulate under the tray and help it cool.  Stir every now and then, as the granola will harden as it cools.
  6. Add blueberries and toss to distribute once granola is completely cool.
  7. Store in an airtight container for up to two weeks.

Use on top of yogurt, smoothie bowls, or eat as plain cereal.